Zues, gonna think some more. I realize I'm angry and vilifying husband. I realize that I have been doing that for a long time. I think he started out being obliviously neglectful and then I responded with anger and resentment and then like you said a cycle was formed. And yes the more resentful I am the more selfish his actions get to the point of being deplorable by most standards.
Right now, I have to break that cycle of anger and resentment. It's good that I have been following advice of DB coach and not showing this to him (although I'm sure spouse can sense it) but deep down I feel it more often then not. I have to figure out how not to go there. I have to figure out How to transfer feelings of anger to compassion. I know this, but I just don't know anything else.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
