we need to start learning how to meet our own emotional needs. Your fears of her falling in love with some one else, or her leaving. WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?
for me it meant that I was not worth of love. that is what those fears really meant to me. I was really afraid that deep down in my heart, no matter how much BS I typed here or in my IC sessions...I still felt deep down that maybe I wasn't worth it or capable of being loved. How sick is that for a man of 40 to believe that he is not worth it. And I know my wife has tried to show me that is not true all these years.
That my friend is the core of what the issues were in my marriage.
Because I was afraid I was not truly worthy of love: I got defensive of criticism,I tried too hard to prove by super husband, nice guy, I tried too hard to shower wife with affection to prove that I was worth it. my actions started to cause her to lose respect for me as a man because I put her on a pedestal and chose to supplicate myself to her needs and not my own.
that is not a mutually beneficial relationship.
I chose denial, and ignored the real issues. IDK, but it seems that before you drop the hammer (maybe it is time, maybe it is not...that is up to you completely) you need to do some real soul searching as to what is driving your fears. What is causing IS to get angry, upset, worried, etc.
I am no counsellor...I just know from experience right where you are at this moment in time, how anger / being upset could phuck things up for your future...it will obscure your path and your healing.
