im sorry and this may be against what other people think, i feel very strongly when i hear stories like this. if you are being truthful i am enraged. I know it is not my place, but if you feel it is too much then you need to step in and do what you think is best for your children.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
with that being said you will proabably have a hard time getting 100%. A judge will feel the children need both parents and they do. You will be going into a tough battle proving her behavior is that bad, but if you really believe it is then it may be worth the fight.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
azzork this is where my 180 would come in. Ive always been relaxed about everything. I have always let her do what ever she wants and gets away with it. This time I am new man, someone that will not take that, someone who will watch out for the best interest of my daughters. I know that she is thinking , he wont get a lawyer , he wont fight for the girls. He would never do that to me , he loves me too much, i have him in my hands. But is no longer like that. I dont want her back unless she gets help, just like i got help. I am a new man. A stronger man , a man that doesnt take her insults anymore and doesnt let himself get manipulated like she always has this whole relationship.
My concern is that IF you go for 100% custody, I assume your W will not just agree to it and will also file for 100% custody. Now, you are leaving it to the judge to decide. Then, who knows if youll win; if you dont, youll have whatever the judge grants you. Maybe 20%? I have no idea if you will win.
What you describe, is clearly child abuse. I'm surprised nobody else here has said that. Your wife has a problem of some kind. Please talk to a professional (lawyer, social worker - not your church counselor, they will not be seen as neutral professionals) and find out how to best proceed. You need to tell them everything.
It sounds like you have also been victimized in some way, but that you are finding your strength now.
You can request that you both take parenting classes. Encourage her time with the children, but be concerned about their safety. Hopefully, she has been less prone to abusing them in the shelter, where she probably has been surrounded by others.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
yes , in the past i was abused. I was beaten twice in the 5 year relationship. The second time she beat me up i took pictures of my bruises, scratches and bights she marked on me. I knew that one day I would need them in the future. I immediately send them to my email, of course the next day she questioned me why i took pictures of that and i just told her to delete them i dont know what was my plan, little did she knew i had sent them to my email. She has always verbally and phsycologcly abused me, always telling me im am selfish , i never think of others , i am worthless, pitiful , shameless, good for nothing I eventually believed i was those horrible things. But not now. I am not one of those words.
Angel, your story is sounding more and more dangerous as you reveal the history, especially for your kids. Your W sounds like she has some major issues which will need therapy to resolve. In the mean time, you need to do whatever is necessary to protect those kids. Go talk to an attorney now. Explain the situation, and get some legal advice. Cases like this have a good chance of Child Protective Services getting involved, and it's possible that both you and your W could lose custody, at least temporarily. This is very serious business. Please seek professional guidance.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
that is what my lawyer told me the first time i met with her 5 weeks ago. She told me the exact same thing , that CPS could get involved and she was hesitant to call them right at that moment after she heard all the stories i told her. I was scared at the moment so i backed out and reached out to God for answers. Last week he actually talked to my through the bible, and one verse stood out "be merciful with the merciful, be kind to the kind , per pure with the pure, but with the contaminated be tortuous."
I am scared she will get even more angry and just really go after the divorce and more determined now. Will my actions push her away permanently? i dont know. But im looking out for my daughters.
the stress is killing me, but even on these dark times i feel stronger than ever before. I am no scared of her anymore. i will not allow her to manipulate me anymore.
