Bright, I'm sorry that you are finding it harder to post, but you need to understand that what your h is going through right now is replay/depression and it's going to take some time for him to work thru all of this. He was a very slow beginner when he entered the crisis and he's now exhibiting a lot of those replay behaviors that we have talked about on this forum.
For whatever reason, he doesn't feel the need to work any more this year. Could it be that he's met his monetary quota or maybe he wants to take some time off and enjoy life a bit before getting back to work next year? It could be the depression has him feeling lousy...but no one knows the real reason and it's difficult to understand why he is doing the things he's doing. I can tell you this...he's not the man you knew and loved. He's a very changed man now w/different interests, people and activities. Trying to analyze what he's doing, saying, etc., is not helping you because there is no rhyme or reason for his actions. I doubt seriously he could tell you why he's doing the things he is doing and have them make sense to you.
Now, about your son and GF, please stop and think about what I'm about to say and do not take offense. Do not quiz them about what went on w/your h while they were at the vacation home. The more you quiz them, the more uncomfortable they will become and will eventually stop sharing info w/you. If they come to you and want to talk, fine...but don't quiz them. I know you are curious, but you don't want your son to distance himself from you because of this. You've got a good relationship w/him and his GF and I would hate to see it go by the wayside w/questions about your h.
Your h will reconnect w/your son when he's ready. Remember, they make promises and very seldom keep them, so don't be surprised if he doesn't keep you informed of things about himself. Keep those expectations at zero. Your h has a long ways to go and the old saying "a watched pot never boils" is so true.
And yes, I'm going to repeat myself again...keep the focus on you and try to curb your analyzing of your h's behaviors. It's not helping you...in fact, it may be keeping you stuck. Try to think of him on a long trip overseas and he's at a remote village doing a research project and has no phone, etc. He'll contact you when he needs something...it seems he's good at that.
