Julie, I am learning a lot about triangulation because of my situation. I think of course you have every right to complain about not receiving child support, but may be best to limit your complaining to one or two people- here is good place, an IC, maybe one trusted friend or family member. You are feeling some guilt about this, no I don't think you are being abusive but your conscience is telling you to pull back on the complaining, so take that as a clue that you need to pull back.
Also, don't expect that taking the "high road" is going to pay off anywhere but with your own conscience, H is not going to notice or appreciate it (but he will notice if you do talk about him most likely). Its one of those things that you do for your own integrity.
