have i been making mistakes too long part 7

[tkdmme]

Sotto,

I understand and agree. This is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I am a habitual worrier. Even when things were good I would invent things to worry about. This took a huge toll on my M. My W was the only voice of reason that I listened to during these "panic attacks". She was my rock. She was always steady and absorbed my worry. She is an incredible person to have put up with me for as long as she did.

I have tried to convince myself that im not 100% responsible for the breakdown of my marriage but I have to face the fact that I am the one who caused this. That is where the guilt comes in. The guilt is overwhelming. Yes, my W is treating me like a stranger at this point but I caused it. I don't deserve her or anyone else for that matter until I can get a grip on my anxiety.

I know that everyone here will say its not all my fault but I know the that it is at least 95% mine. I have turned her into the cold hearted person she I now.