Triangulation (Differences between WAHs and WAWs 4

[V2pt0]

I don't want to hate him. I prefer to go numb if I can. Nothing he does should affect me. The anger woke me up a little, but I'm not going to let it swing me all the way to negative..

I am just going to chime in here and give some thoughts on going numb. Just as many WAS' use As as self-medication, I think going numb is also an unhealty coping mechanism. I know, because I am an expert at this. This is how I dealt with the loneliness the emotions during my M and is a big part of why I am on here. The reason it is unhealthy is you can't selectively chose what emotions to shut off. When you go numb, all of your emotions are held back, even the good ones like joy and happiness. Those are emotions that you really want to be accessing right now as you transform into Ancaire 2.0. You want your H to see that you can be and will be happy without him.

I actually think feeling and acknowledging all of your feelings, both the good and the bad is healthy. You just need find better ways to cope with the negative ones: exercise, break some plates in the garage, go to IC, punch a pillow, etc. Just don't do what I did and throw something at a wall. You may end up with a whole to patch. If you go numb, those feelings will still be there and will eventually come out at some point in an even bigger roar which won't be pretty. Feeling the pain and anger is part of the grieving process that you need to go through in mourning the end of your M so that you be be ready for your next M, regardless of who it is with.

If you haven't, check out a TED Talk by Brene Brown on Vulnerability. She talks about numbing feelings. It is one of my favorites.