RD & V.....get yourselves off to bed - it's past your bedtimes!!

RD, that's an interesting talk with your W. For sure, she's thinking and she has regrets. It is interesting that she still doesn't really see how she got herself into this position, and I feel she has yet to accept her part in an adult way. There seems to be a lot of 'lost little girl' in her interactions with you and I think she has a ways to go.

I think your approach now is about right, and I don't think the sitch is by any means hopeless. But I still believe she is pretty lost (tho perhaps a touch less than before) and is presumably continuing with whatever dysfunctional R exists with OM. For those reasons, I would stay your course, carry on with your own life but keep the door open a crack going forwards if you want to.

At some point, if she wants the life she has lost, she will need to embrace the learning needed and get into an adult state, ditch OM and accept her part in this if she wants to have a chance of a future life with RD.

You are doing well RD and I think it's okay to have these little convos with your W as long as you can do that and then leave her to her path, continuing along your own path for now.

Take care and have a lovely Friday xxx

Last edited by Sotto; 10/22/15 07:25 AM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus