That makes sense. I know that I am impatient. Everyone here, family and friends, etc... says to leave it alone and walk away from her. Maybe that is feeding my impatience? Not sure.

I don't want to pressure her. I want to show her that I am not whatever it is that makes her unhappy. It's weird, but now I am only uneasy and edgy around her. Everyone else, I'm fine. Before I was mopey all the time, the last few days I feel better. Stronger, more normal, more outgoing. Almost happy. I am actually happy with my life, other than my M. Kids love me and want to be with me. More friends and family than I know what to do with. GAL has been fruitful, and busy. Have things to do tomorrow and sunday to help people. Kids stuff in the mean time.

I am not detached, I realize that. Is the change in me the beginning of it? Or is it the fact that my being away from her is letting the luster fade from my idea of the M? Is that a step in detachment itself?

35
3 boys
Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....