It's the rare state that grants sole custody of children. It really takes a lot to do that.
I agree with KML that teenage boys typically need their dad. That's a short period of time (a few years maybe) before they come back to their mom. Girls tend to be the opposite.
Remember that you are there for them and not the other way around. But also remember that states rarely just give custody to one parent. It's always what the state deems the best interest of the children (most cases) meaning the other parent has to prove that it is in the best interest of the kids.
Personally, I wouldn't grant that to him. Rather, leave the door open to the boys to come back. Fight for them to be there even if the first few months are hell on earth. They are teens and don't really know the bigger picture. They'll calm down but they should know their mom fought for them. That is important if you can manage it.
If it helps, I was harassed by my ex and later by OM for years. My daughter barely speaks to me right now, although appears to be thawing 4 years later. I fought, but not all of it publicly so my daughter could see it. My son has always been here in the house.
It's worth it, BRNR. Find the strength.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
