I have to say that I got a good chuckle out of your response.
Yeah, I do think he is cake eating. I don't want to be just kept on the line. I don't feel married anymore. I stopped wearing my wedding ring.
He clouds my mind to what I have to get done and moving closer to him is not it.
V,
Thank you for reminding me to how far I have come in the last six months....all without him. I can go the rest of my life without him too. He can stay in his crappy one bedroom apartment, without a car and play video games with his buddies online for the rest of his life...without me. I have better things to do with my life! If and when he finally snaps out of his self imposed "exile" from the real worl...maybe I would be willing to R again, but then maybe not. He has a lot of work to do on himself.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
Happy birthday diana, wish I would have seen your post before. We have the same birthday
I wouldn't let his actions change what you really want to do about moving, just as the others have said. Same with the card, don't over think it too much. If he's really interested in trying to make the M work he would come out and say it.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
If and when he finally snaps out of his self imposed "exile" from the real worl...maybe I would be willing to R again, but then maybe not.
Now I am about to go against the grain, but hey I do that almost everytime anyway!
I am not sure how the other men on here will respond, but I would be willing to bet that some, if not more than some, are like me and have difficulty in expressing themselves. Men aren't great at that. Honest. And we also aren't great at admitting when we messed up, especially on something this grand of a scale. Could it be that his fog is in the process of lifting and the card really is true? Could it be that is his way of beginning? Could it? If it is, and you want to try again, then stick your toe in and test the water. If not, then keep doing what you are doing.
What it boils down to is if you want to try again.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I do want to try to build a new R and M, but the ball is firmly in his court. If he wants to work on our marriage he will have to initiate. He has some serious work to do on himself as well.
He knows perfectly well that I never wanted to give up on our marriage and have done everything possible to work on it and to work on myself.
I no longer initiate contact with him. When he does text me, I keep it light and brief. He can't come and see me anymore. We have had our first snowfall up here in cold and windy Canada. His only mode of transportation is his motorcycle and that is being put away for the winter this weekend. I have made no plans to go see him. Can't really afford to until my house sale goes through end of November.
He has huge problems expressing himself...now. He wasn't like that at the beginning of our relationship. He just clams up and stays silent. The most I get out of him is that he still loves me and then more silence.
I'm moving forward with my life. Finding a place to live. I'm going to stick around my area for a bit longer. I still need the support of my family and friends for the next little while. I have a fight on my hands with the disability company and many, many doctors appointments coming up. MRI and echocardiogram scheduled in the next few weeks to start. I will get better and get my illness under control.
Space and time for both of us....but I will not wait forever. If I have not seen any positive moves forward I will start D proceedings in April.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
I just don't get it. He says he loves me. There is no one else involved for both of us. He knows that I love him. Yes, we both have things to work out, but why can't we move forward and try to salvage our marriage? Why not try MC? I would be willing, but he is still withdrawing. I'm so frustrated! I'm afraid that I will get so frustrated that I will throw in the towel for good. I don't want to get divorced, but I also don't want to stay separated forever and lead our separate lives, in separate towns. At that point we might as well be divorced!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
