Cali- I am taking your suggestion with the 3 lists, and doing this tonight! What a great idea!
OTW- I think I have skipped the anger phase too. I have experienced angry days, but never sustained anger. I also find that I get really angry at the wayward spouses I read about here, really more angry at them than at my own H, maybe that is displaced anger and safer emotionally. Or maybe because a lot of you all have really screwed up spouses, lol. One of my concerns is that my anger is going to boil up at some really inopportune time, like Thanksgiving dinner at the inlaws, and I will blow all my efforts to hell. That will be an interesting story!
Maybe some of us are just not angry people, and small episodes of anger here and there are enough to release what we have built up. Or maybe we need a healthy outlet to blow off some steam. A friend of mine who went through this 7 years ago runs, she said when she started she could barely run 20 feet, now she does 2 marathons a year and it is all her anger coming out at those times. Could be you are releasing it in a healthy way already? Or you might need to find one when the time comes.
Talk it over with your IC, that is a good idea, and please let me know if you get any insight.
