New Terrain? Or more of the same? (New thread)

[DifRent]

Thanks, Kippz. I pray for you and everyone here. Such a difficult journey we're all on.

So, funny thing... WW posted on Facebook this weekend - she's not moving into that sketchy apartment she rehabbed. She and the OW are selling it. Their first "fix and flip." I should have known she never had any intention of moving out of the OW's house. She's too needy, too clingy, too afraid to be alone with herself.

She wrote to me in a way that reeked of self-justification about how enlightened she's becoming, how well she's "moving on," because of her newfound meditation practices and watching "inspirational" Church of Oprah videos. I dismissed it all - you can't possibly grow into a better and more enlightened person while you are in a dysfunctional relationship with a sociopath who poached you from your family. But... whatever. Not my circus.

She wrote to me this morning, after several blissful days of no messages at all, to say she "ended up" with some of my belts and pieces of mail during the move, and how can she get all that to me? I truly believe she's been holding those things "hostage" to force an in-person encounter. I'm not falling for it. She can send all of that to me via our son.

The detachment is real.

She can't stand to be alone. But I've had plenty of time alone the past few months. Painful, excruciating time alone. As much as I hated every minute of it, I also know it's produced good fruits in me - such things always do, even if you're a mess in the middle of it, and make a million mistakes along the way. I'm currently rooming with a dear friend, living around the corner from another dear friend, having moved closer by half the distance to my kids' apartment, and I'm connecting, very slowly, with a new friend who is also relatively fresh out of a relationship. It is NOT a dating situation, but she is someone who, like all of you, has great empathy for my pain, and shares enough common interests that she is helping me to enjoy the things I've neglected in my grief: culture, good books, nature, and a sense of hope for the future.

Since WW is in a crisis and I am standing for our relationship, I know I'm not off the roller coaster forever. But for now, I'm very grateful to be at peace.