Thanks, PP! There are things I'm not sharing here, but I do believe the duck is on his case quite a bit. Despite what he's done, I don't think he deserves a woman like the one she seems to be. I really can't imagine why he puts up with her. I guess he's not telling me the good stuff.
I'm a little nervous about how it's all going to work out with D13 once I go to work, I won't be able to pick her up from school, see her games, all the things she's used to because I've always done them. But I'm happy to have the job, it's a not-for-profit organization I believe in, and we'll see what happens.
Funny how after enough time passes the emotional battles subdue. I'm in a spot where the only stress I feel comes from the unsettled items of parenting and finances that are still being negotiated. We have a meeting next Monday, hopefully we can make some serious progress. I really feel like once the D is final it will eliminate the majority of the remaining stress. As is when I picked up the kids and saw STBX, I felt...not much. Sometimes I check to see if I'm in denial, and pick the scab a little, but really there just isn't much there. Billions of women aren't married to me. She is now one of them. There's not much difference anymore, she's just faded into the background. Sounds like you're in calmer waters as well.
Thanks for posting and talk more soon!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Hi Sunny. Don't pick the first one , this is like choosing a good mechanic Yes lots can do the job but find the right one and it's one you can keeping going back to with faith that the job will be done properly !!!!!!!!!!!
Also hitman is so 80s , I believe problem remover is now much more in use or even trash man by the more hip amongst us !!
Hi Sunny, I have been reading up your current thread and i must say that I am wowed by your grace and upbeat spirit.
If the X and I could be half as civil as you and your STBX are, well, I dont think we would be calling each other 'exes'. You sound so sweet, sane and validatimg that my X would prob fall in love with you in a heartbeat.
You really are my inspiration, and I hope that I can one day have the type of R you have with your STBX.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Thanks, Grlonfr. STBX and I have almost the same relationship we always had. We rarely fought, usually saw eye to eye on kid stuff and finances, enjoyed each other's company, were quite compatible in the bedroom. We weren't perfect, obviously, but I still can't put my finger on anything that was divorce-worthy. Still, here I am, and I'm happy that we are getting along, happy we co-parent nicely, happy I'm not stressing over finances, happy about a lot of things these days. I read here all the things that could be going on, and I'm just so grateful not to have to deal with that.
I read a book a few months ago about different types of relationships that divorced people might have. The book made it clear that the type of relationship changes and morphs over the years. A couple that started off as Fiery Foes may very well end up as Cooperative Colleagues someday. I wish that for all of us.
In other news: STBX did not get his financial disclosure in on time and we had to postpone the meeting that was supposed to take place on Thursday. The next one is mid-November. Before that, STBX will meet with the forensic accountant, then I will. Then we'll get down to the details at the next group meeting.
The parenting plan is about 90% done, it's as vague as the law will allow, stating mostly that we'll work it out between us. That's what we both wanted. The only part not done is financial-related, about who pays for activities, etc. That will be part of the financial discussions.
So things are on track, and hopefully we can wrap this up by the end of the year.
