W had taken my dog to the vet. That is why she wasn't there when I went to pick up kids. She apologized several times and dropped them off on her way back from the vet. Cost me about an hour of my time, but I still got them.
She then wanted to talk about her part of the vacation, house stuff, etc.
I am still confused, but it doesn't seem to effect me quite as bad
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I can tell you having been there a while...the more you try to understand or make sense out of her behavior, the more confused you will likely get. It's like trying to understand a fire.
Better to just stay far enough back where the air is clear and cool, the oxygen is plentiful, and the fire doesn't look so big and difficult to extinguish.
Can't extinguish it anyway. Only she can. Or it will burn itself out.
S6 told me that mil had told him that he wasn't allowed to do something. That something is only done with me. It is supervised, and completely safe. It is instructional, and teaching him to value, respect, and care for something.
I told W that I do not appreciate mil trying to get between my kids and me. She said she only heard part of that conversation. W said she will talk to mil, and make sure that she isn't overstepping her bounds. I have never had a problem with my in laws, but I will fight for my boys with anyone who gets in my way.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I'm not sure what I am going through right now. I feel much differently than a week ago. I was mad at W for taking up some of my time with the kids, and not happy with MIL for potentially interfering. But, it didn't ruin my night. Made me upset in the moment, then I got back to the present. These things would have kept me spun up for days, as little as a couple weeks ago.
I still think that I want my W back. But that feeling is a little less every day. I don't know if that is me learning to accept things, or detaching a bit, or ? She kept wanting to talk last night at kid swap. I was in the back of the house, and she followed the boys in to my place. When I dropped them off, she wanted to talk more. Not about us, but other random stuff.
Not sure how to proceed. Why does she still want to talk to me? It is all or nothing for me, and I am starting to feel like I can go with it either way. Before, I just kept telling myself that I will be ok. Now I think I believe it.
Today will be a good day!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
So I did some checking, and there is no court date on file for my D. Supposed to be after 60 days, more or less, and November 1 should be it. I'm not sure what the hold up is. Could be backlogged or maybe she isn't sure or ?
I do not want a D, but if it's going to happen, I want it done and over so I can get on with my life. It's so hard to be in limbo. Should I ask about it and push it along, or let it be? I am paying 1/2 of the mortgage until final. She has to buy me out when it's final. So there are many reasons for her financially to postpone it.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
She might be thinking about things. I you don't want to D, I would hold off on any relationship talks.
She could very likely be sensing your detachment. I wouldn't be shocked if she brought up a relationship talk with you. If that's the case, just listen and validate.
Tl2, I know that it could be from any number of reasons, including the state. You aren't being a downer. Still hoping for the best, and trying to expect nothing. I wonder how close I am to the point that I won't want her back. It kind of scares me how quickly my feelings are shifting. Almost like I got unstuck and fast forwarded all in one. Still miss the old her, and our being a family. Hurts to be a part time dad. I think I still want her. I know I want a better M than I had the last couple years. But, I am making plans for a life without her.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
