Just caught up a bit on your sitch and Thorton is right.... Tread carefully on this presumed OW tactic.... While mystery is good, you not being a man of integrity and her assuming you are sleeping around only fuels her and add into the "I was right to do what I did ... He doesn't love me ... Look he is already messing around" assumptions right?
Bigger picture ... You are doing this simply to get a reaction out of your W ... That's not DBing .... That's manipulation, is that who you want to be? Is it who you are? May wanna take a long look in the mirror and start figuring out just who you are at this moment and who you want to be when YOU... Yes YOU come out the other side.
I caught a post where you stated "Yeah.....seems like there was probably some guilt there too. Terrible to think about so I'm going to tuck that away in a little box somewhere in the way back dark places of my head. The good news when we R she'll need to confess all that has occurred, sincerely apologize for it, work to rebuild trust and love and she'll have to live with what she's done forever." Can you see how punishing this is.... Who would want to come back to that? I am not saying she would have some things to own up, and work to do.... That's IF she ever decided to come back and commit to the M.... And I'm here to tell you if its just about manipulating this to get her back, you aren't improving nor learning much and it's not going to work.... DBing and changing just to appear a certain way ( coming home at late hours under the impression you are out getting some... And then playing it up) isn't going to win her heart... It's going to harden it.
I've told this a few times... One night my W came to pick up my S and I was decked out to go out .... This set her off ... However when she confronted me and asked who I was going to see a movie with and I told her "Jordan" she spewed about how Jordan was a slut ... This n that... Cue the "it's Jake from State Farm" commercial because Jordan is a guy... I then brought out my truth darts and informed W I'm a man of character and honor my vows and would not stoop to that low level ( implying her A without saying it) I then ended the conversation and went about my day
Was I sitting and moping at home? No ... I was enjoying my free nights and still honoring my M , till the D papers were signed I vowed to do this... My choice and what I could live with. That being said I was moving on with my life and she was feeling it .... But I was still a man of integrity and not playing games
