LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (2)

[dwh15]

Sounds like a great weekend. I have to say, I was smiling when I read about that conversation with your W and how your breath smells. Good job keeping your cool and making her respect you.

[isittoolate]

First you were drinking and then you were cheating...all in one breath...LOL! Good work...

[sandi2]

She said "your breath smells like vag*na" and left the room.

Man could I think of a come-back to that one! But since you told her you had not been drinking.........you handled it right.

Very good job!

[dwh15]

She said "your breath smells like vag*na" and left the room.

Man could I think of a come-back to that one! But since you told her you had not been drinking.........you handled it right.

Very good job!

LOL Sandi. Well, WW, your breath smells like...

Funny to think about but good job not getting sucked into name calling.

[gs9]

She was definitely trying to antagonize me and suck me into a fight. I'm happy with the way I handled it. She is definitely showing jealousy with asking where I've been and accusing me of cheating. Jealousy has been an issue for her throughout our M. I expect things are going to get worse before they better. We have our initial status conference tomorrow and we'll probably start our parenting schedule. The parenting schedule will actually be nice bc I'll no longer need to let her know what days I have plans to make sure she's watching D4. It'll be structured. Plus she'll be completely responsible for D4 which usually I'm the one getting her ready for bed. Couple more wake up calls this week as to how it'll be when I'm not around to help her. Plus I get to do things for myself which has been great. I've missed playing poker. I didn't get home until 5 am Friday morning and then 3 am this morning. Thank goodness for RockStars or I would have never made it.

[gs9]

She said "your breath smells like vag*na" and left the room.

Man could I think of a come-back to that one! But since you told her you had not been drinking.........you handled it right.

Very good job!

LOL Sandi. Well, WW, your breath smells like...

Funny to think about but good job not getting sucked into name calling.

Yeah.....seems like there was probably some guilt there too. Terrible to think about so I'm going to tuck that away in a little box somewhere in the way back dark places of my head. The good news when we R she'll need to confess all that has occurred, sincerely apologize for it, work to rebuild trust and love and she'll have to live with what she's done forever.

[gs9]

Journaling and a question

First, WW agreed to parenting plan schedule. Last night being her night I started getting ready to go out.
She asked "are you leaving? Where are you going?
I said " Yes, why?"
She said "Why won't you tell me?"
I said " It doesn't matter"
She said " Are you going to your girlfriends house? it would be nice to know if you have a girlfriend"
I said " If I do it's none of your business"
She asked to go over the parenting schedule some more. I agreed.
She then said " then you go hurry and get out of here and I hope you never come back"
I said " see you, I'm not going to tolerate comments like that"
and started leaving
She said " I hope you get in a car accident."

I arrived home at 1:30 am. She got up and asked to discuss the parenting plan. As we began to discuss it She said "do you wear your ring when you go to your girlfriends house?" as she was trying to see if I had it on.
I showed her my ring and asked " why does it matter?........ Nevermind, it doesn't."
She said " no, you asked why it matters"
I said "it doesn't matter."
Topic dropped.....
Parenting plan discussion went ok. She made a disrespectful comment one time. I called her on it and told her there's no need for jabs. She said it wasn't and said it doesn't matter how I feel about it. I told her it does matter and if it happens again the conversation is over. She gave me a little more grief about how I am not the boss and I do not get to decide when these conversations are going to happen. I just looked at her and we continued the parenting plan conversation.

She then wanted to talk finances. She said she may decide to move out, She's living check to check, until the D is final all money is martial money and wanted to know how much money I have in my accts because she will need 1st and last months rent. I told her an amount, less than I actually have, and that I'll need to speak to a L.

I don't have to share this money right? I would prefer she "puts on her big girl panties", moves out and struggles.

[otw]

i agree you should not be spoke to in a way that is disrespectful and you seem to be doing well with that. I have to tell you though i am a little jealous of how she is so interested in what you are doing and wanting to know everything. She is constantly thinking about you and seems reality is hitting her.
As far as the money, you are going to have to split whatever you both have. My w called me one day about rent for a new place and at that point we agreed to split the money we have in the bank and be financially separated at that point.

hope that helps, contact the l and they can help you.

[Thornton]

Gnicks,

Hey buddy. IMO you are coming across as angry in the way you converse with your w.

Don't let the pendulum swing too far in the other direction. You can definitely establish boundaries. But establish them in a way that doesn't come across as angry.

Remember... your goal is to become the type of spouse only a fool would leave. If she thinks you are out messing with other women, does that make you the type only a fool would leave?

It's awesome to create some mystery to keep her guessing. But if you make it seem like you are with other women, you might just be giving her another reason to believe the marriage is broken.

I would tell you are out with friends and just spending time with some neglected relationships.

Just my opinion.

[gs9]

Thanks OTW...... Jealousy has been an issue in our M from the very beginning. So I'm not sure if reality is setting in or not. I am hoping it is. That would be great!!!
There was so much jealousy and anger it made it hard for me to work at times. When we met I managed Health Clubs. She commented and accused me of things on a regular basis. I don't mind reassuring her and if she addressed the issue gently it would have been easier. I would have enjoyed it but the jealousy would show it's ugly face out of left field with comments like "I know your f***ing some 20 year old at the gym. You're such a piece of S***! I hate you!" ......it's really hard to be compassionate and reassure someone when they're verbally abusing you.

As far as the money..... I thought everything wouldn't have to be split until the D is final?