Hi avanti. I have so many goals I just don't know how to achieve them. I have written them down but have a hard time of doing them or getting them done. I have read the Dr book like 3 times. I cannot set boundaries. I'm so scared these boundaries will push him away. He says that there is no hope for us. He says move on cause I have. What kind of boundaries do i set. What kind of goals do I want. These are the steps that are holding me back. I have been detaching and have slightly gone dark. I only see him at nights. But starting tonight I will start being a stranger to him. I hate the things he was telling me just now. How can he buy me a anniversary gift last year and a month later cheat on me and then tell me I never cared for him or his feelings. I don't know. I know I haven't been doing right and have been here since March. I'm acting like I'm his door mat. 2nd choice. Why do I act like this. I have confidence of finding someone who will care more for me but my heart wants my h. But I will continue to concentrate on me and my kids. I won't believe everything he says. I told him to really think about who really cared for him. For 1 year of having an affair I still respected him I still cared for him and all he did was continue to have an affair and forget who i was. But it's OK cause it makes me want to work harder on myself so I can be the best. And only a fool want to leave. He needs to really work on himself but I DDon't think he knows he needs work to be done on himself. He thinks that he's right about everything and that he's better off single.
O - Ive seen Starsky ask this many times, and I think its a very viable question.
"Do you think your H has any fear of losing you?"
Read what I bolded in the quote above.
If he has no fear that you arent going to be right there to pick him up when he falls, why should he ever learn to stand?
