Tinydoc's first post, 5 months in.

[V2pt0]

I went on a date this weekend. It was probably a good thing and a bad thing.

The good: I know I wasn't satisfied in my marriage because I always felt like I was my husbands parent, in a way. I didn't feel like he was my partner, since we weren't working towards anything together. It was nice going out with someone who seems more like an equal-someone with a career, who is financially secure, has a retirement account, etc. It reminded me what was missing in my marriage, and how I important those things can be. I resented my husband for making me take on all of the responsibilities, and going out with someone who has more of his life together helped reinforce that,

The bad: Im so much more attracted to my husband than to anyone else, I definitely settled for some of the his less desirable qualities because I found him so physically attractive. I'm sure that deep down I didn't think I was worthy of such an attractive man who also had his life together, and figured I would have to settle for someone less successful. And I miss him.

.

Your words and thoughts resonates with me so much. It sounds like we were both missing the same things from our spouses. I feel I could have written both the bad and the good sections above. Yes, my H is a very attractive man. He had all of the physical attributes I was looking for in a man. But you know what, after everything that has happened over the last 6 months, he does not nearly seem quite so attractive anymore. I would rather have someone not quite as attractive physically as my H if they make up for it in personality, caring for my needs and interests, compassion, and commitment. Don't worry, you are making yourself into a woman only a fool would leave, your successful, and seem like a caring person. You will find someone just as successful that you are also attracted to physically.