Zero steps forward

[Pax_luv]

Thanks all-
Pho- I think you are right. What's best for me is probably just suspending FB completely. At least then, I become a mystery, too. It's been really hard to stumble across pics of our mutual friends having bbqs and other parties in my backyard.

Bt-to answer your question as to why he doesn't want to work on the marriage- he doesn't love me, we're not compatible, there have been too many red flags. Truth is, he sees me as being selfish. He feels he has done nothing but support me this entire time and I haven't done enough to reciprocate. He supported me while working on my undergrad, grad, and career endeavors. I truthfully didn't see it as a big deal bc that's what people in their early 20's do. The last few years we talked about having kids, but I needed just a little more time to reach my career goal. Well, I made that goal and now I'm ready to have kids my biological clock has started ticking and h feels it's too late. Yes, he is older, but I truly never once felt the difference.
In addition to this, he started seeing an IC last year and she diagnosed him with death anxiety. He was having a lot of struggles dealing with life and unresolved issues from his childhood. These were things he was going through but he never wanted to share with me.
I get it- we majorly disconnected and failed eachother, but I just can't throw in the towel after 5 years of marriage.