confused newbie 5

[dday]

Getting ready to go get my boys. I am kinda excited, since I haven't seen the younger 2 in a week. Not doing much, dinner, play catch, take them back to W.

I feel different. I was whistling a song that I heard at the party this weekend. I can't tell you the last time I have whistled. Little things, but they are changes. Talked to my cousin for 2 hours last night. He went through D 3 years ago, and is remarried and says that he is happier than ever. He was talking me through some of it, telling me what I may go through.

I have smiled a lot more today. Laughed some. Maybe that is the changing feeling that I had a week ago. Maybe this is a step in my journey. Growth. Trying and hoping to drop the rope. Feels like I have loosened the grip on it a bit, anyway.