Today I am filled with so many emotions. I have these feelings of sadness, hurt, betrayal, competition, and jealousy.
After my wife comes back from her trip to see her mother, I have been more than interested in making sure she is good and has support. On Friday, she asked me to do her a favor and stay with the baby while she runs to get her stuff for her upcoming business trip on Sunday. I did, during that time, we spoke in honesty about where we both are, I was vulnerable and open. I come to find out that as soon as she leaves the house she contacted one of her "friends" and although mostly work, was planning dinner, a hug, and maybe a kiss. I confronted her about it, I just couldn't fathom that after being there for her, doing her the favor of coming over to watch our child while she gets her stuff for her trip, she would do that...
Simply, this led me to tell her that if her choice is to continue to entertain these guys or guy, if they are fulfilling some of her needs to have them fulfill all of them, I don't want to have to be the one to build her up, support her in her bad times, but these OMs get the best of her. I feel so abandoned by the fact that she doesn't contact me, or share with me unless is something bad or stressful; these guys get her best now. She tried to make it seem as if I was being a child, so I told her, I am not, I am simply asking you to respect my needs and boundaries; don't call me or reach out to me if it isn't about our kids, because if other man are fulfilling the best, then they should do the same at her bad as well; why am I to be used this way. I feel as if she has been playing me.
Forward to yesterday, before she left to see her mom, I wrote a nice note telling her that she is not alone and how much I support her. I haven't heard anything about that note, that was about 1.5 weeks ago, and yesterday, I find it in the trash...well that stung, I wrote her that is nice to see she liked the note, to which she responds "I was going through a bunch of papers, and found it but decided not to say anything because of our last discussion, but I appreciate it, and I appreciate you, there are so many emotions."
Sorry guys, I just needed to jog that down....so heavy for me. I am hurt and angry.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
