It's not an in-house separation, she moved out almost immediately.
No kids, no prior cheating. She doesn't consider what she's doing now to be cheating. I'm pretty confident it's still just an emotional affair and hasn't turned physical ( you may disagree, but she isn't a very sexual person. the emotional connection is much more important to her )
Isn't it a good idea to keep the lines of communication open in a non-pursuing way? Would your advice change if there weren't another man in the equation?
In the DR book, it says to keep doing what's working. I saw positive signs when I wasn't being pursuing, but still communicating. Admittedly the last email exchange we had, before I found this forum, I relapsed and came off as needy and she responded negatively. I'm afraid if I leave it at that, she won't reach back out and will drift further away. This was her last message:
"Maybe it's better that I don't communicate? I dunno. I just hate that you went from feeling fine to feeling like absolute [censored] as a result of my outreach. Makes me feel sad and like I shouldn't reach out.
You tell me."
That was 5 days ago. Why would it be so bad to send something like:
"How did your therapy session go on Thursday? I had one on the same day and felt really good after mine.
Hope you had a good weekend."
I'm not very concerned about getting legal advice. We've maintained separate finances since we were married and make comparable salaries. It would be an amicable split with us just walking away with what we each have.
