Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

I thought we were making progress, but then she went away for two weeks on a family trip we agreed she could do without me. She contacted him during the trip. She got back and was very appreciative of all my help and support, but said we really weren't moving forward, and she wanted to have an agreement about our in-house separation. I said ok, and give her the terms. I said my only real boundary was that I did not think we should date other people while we lived in the same house. She said but that is exactly what she wanted. She needed to be able to date and I was again only thinking of myself and trying to control her. I said I wasn't trying to control her. If she needed to date, she could move out. I said, so what you are really saying is that you have just been biding your time all these months and you want to date HIM. She said how will she know if it is really love, if it is REAL if she doesn't get to pursue that. If we ever did have a chance of getting together, we could do that 5 years from now just as easily as now. Why won't I let her find out for herself what is right?

Can anyone help me with some clarity with all this?