6 months in the storm

[Vanilla]

Ep

You can only have goals for you. You can't set them for WH and his behaviour.

So a goal which asks WH to do anything is not going to work.

A better goal is based on your actions and behaviours. State your goal as if it is already achieved, use verbs and positives. The five long serving men, who, what, when where and why.

So for example:

I am gently compassionate to my WH, every time he appears confused over the phone and I sincerely validate his concerns because then he will know I have heard his issue. I count the number of positive interactions at 5 per week, thus our contact is more pleasant.

I write in my journal three new goals and review them weekly adding and adapting as needed. I have a positive action plan and weekly mark off actions completed. Knowing my goal is accomplished makes me confident and assured.

I serenely watch the fish swim happily in their clean fish tank. I have calmly found the neccessay resource to ensure this is achieved every month, the Fish Tank may need a new home and I have calmly accepted that if WH is unable to help this may be needed.

A couple of my own:

I sit confidently at my desk answering a call from a client on their recent bill, the information is immediately to hand. I pay cheques into my account for work done in the last month. The time sheets are posted this month and the banking complete. Not my staff have sorted the client info.

My D papers with regard to the Fins are complete and accurate, my L has very little work admin to do on my D, she only needs to do high fly L work, which keeps my bill manageable. Not my L files accurate paperwork.

My D is final and complete because of the accurate work I have done and I need never see or hear from WH again and I take action if he breaks NC. Not WH stays away from me!


Hope this helps, I am not perfect but I do achieve my goals, not always in the time frame as I am often very optimistic about what I can achieve. I am comfortable just to adjust my timetable.

V