Need advice for a WW who left Part 4

[dwh15]

I spent the morning helping my father-in-law put up a chain link fence. My brother-in-law and nephew were also there. We all went to breakfast, then back to his girlfriend's house to install the fence. Only took about 3 hours and overall enjoyed hanging out with that part of my family again. I had not seen my FIL since Christmas.

We got to talk for a few minutes and he really opened up about his first marriage, and how his own WW at the time left him, only to come back 6 weeks later saying she made a mistake. He refused to take her back. Told her when she left he gave her a month to change her mind and he stuck to it. He later found out she had been seeing his best friend at the time, and later went on to marry the guy. That was marriage #2, which fell apart a few years later and the same lady has since had a 3rd M and D. So my FIL is confident that the problems had nothing to do with him. His W was wayward and never seemed to come out of the fog.

He's a very strong man, and it gives me confidence spending time with him. After his D, he went on to meet WW's mother, and they lasted for 32 years until she passed from cancer. He said in hindsight, he was glad for his D because he felt he then met his true soulmate. He doesn't understand his daughter either, in fact none of her family does. But he is glad I have custody of the kids and encouraged me to move on and make a better life. Like most of us, he thinks WW is very confused and probably has some hard times ahead before she realizes what she gave up.

I am confident that I will continue to be part of that family for the rest of my life. They always tell me I am welcome at every family event. Of course, I have no desire to spend time where OM will be hanging out, but I hope to keep in touch with all of them and do things where WW or OM do not attend.

Last couple of days I have been bouncing around between the usual emotions of sadness, anger, and loneliness. Can never tell what triggers it but I'm still on the ride. I was with my sister last night checking out her new hot tub and we just sat in it for a couple of hours and enjoyed a few drinks. I always feel better after talking with her. Today all the kids are going to visit mom and have dinner, so I'll be alone for a few hours. I hate those times, but will try to make the best of it and accomplish a few things.

After all this time, I'm still not sure what I want to happen. I'm so convinced most days that the D is for the best and I'll be better off, but there are times I just want my W back and my family to be complete again.