But this is the thing isn't it? Different people see different sides of us. We almost always show the truest sides of us to our family and they aren't always the prettiest sides.
XH colleagues would never imagine that he is capable of AO, but hey, he really is. He shows one side to them and then he shows his family one side, and then kid and me another side. To his family, I look like the one who's prone to AO.
That is not to say that there isn't any truth to all his different facets.
I guess perhaps, that's how it is with your W? Perhaps she does believe in all the church work she has done, but she has somehow rationalised her actions at home? Maybe she needs this other side to keep herself sane, to distract her from whatever she's doing that's not in line with her religious beliefs?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
