I took the lead on the talk to make it easier on her, took the high road and never said this is what mommy wants,
Why? She fired you, so why make it easier for her to deceive your children? You took part in the deception by covering for her. That's not what call taking the high road.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi I take my kids as my one and only responsibility. I come after that. It will always be that way. I'm not sure anything anyone can say will change that. I know the situation should not affect that but I will always protect them from any instances where i think they need. I know they need their mom and this was a time where I decide to step in and make sure they didn't have a tainted look on her. Was it right? Don't know. Nothing to change now. I had known I will have individual time with them today and questions would be asked. The questions did come. I told d that I will always be honest with her and gave her some insight to the situation. Without me flat out saying this is what mommy wants she now understands things.
On another note I have decided on a private investigator before I sign a separations agreement. I realized I am still very much in love with her at this point and was clouded. I need to know all facts and see if I still feel the same. I was fooling myself trying to not know. I would hate to a agree to some support and find truth after.
Last edited by otw; 10/18/1502:48 AM.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I feel for you. My WW did the same thing. I just pretended to be excited when the kids spoke about the new apartment. They wanted to share their happiness with me and I did not want to take it away. I was pissed at WW. She has the A and wants the D. My family is destroyed yet she was the hero with a nice new apartment. Man that was tough. It still is tough, just not near as bad. Hang in there bro and protect those kids like you are.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Thanks for the insight. I know on one hand she had to curb the sadness but in that sense I looked like do meat after today talking to them I feel a little different. They are still excited for new stuff but like with W that will pass. They all are gong to miss the real things. I just hope w does as well and I still feel the same.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Spending some alone time with kids today. Heading back home and will have to face her in full move mode. She will no longer be hiding it. I am going to act like it doesn't phase me. Saying goodbye to father in law today was difficult. I know he doesn't like this either.
Trying really hard to shake the feeling today. It is difficult. I just really don't want this.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Otw, I feel for you. I have been out of the house all summer. When we S, I had to do all the talking. But at that time I blamed myself. Now, since W filed, I told her that she will have to sit them down and tell them. I want to be there, so she doesn't paint me as the bad guy, bit this is her D and I want her to face the reality and face the bous. I will not do it for her.
Be the best dad you can be. Make some memories with them, even while she isn't there. Enjoy them, they grow so fast! You can do it.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
So not sure if this was good or bad but....I came home with s while she had been out with d looking at bedroom stuff. She looks at me and says d is obsessed with a loft bed etc.. I confirmed she had wanted one for a while and they are t cheap. She said I know a bed and mattress would be over 1000. I said I hear you things are expensive. She then went on telling me about things she has found. I stopped her and said honestly I have no desire to discuss and help her with talks of buying new furniture for a new house. She has been very different since then. Probably angry at me.
I will not be treated like I want this or I am going to help. This is her thing.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
It was a snowball affect last night!. After the first thing i told her about not wanting to talk to her about buying furniture she later came back to me with her computer and about 10 minutes before kids needed to get in bed and asked me if we can go through all of the rooms and figure out who is keeping what. I asked her, right now? she said yes, and i told her no. we have to get the kids to bed and i am tired also. She stated she needed to figure out what she had to get. i told her we can do it tomorrow evening. I know she will want o be out tof the house tomorrow evening at the gym like always while i take care of dinner and getting kids ready for bed, so we will see how that goes. The as we were getting kids ready for bed, they reminded me i said they could lay in my bed and watch a little tv to fall asleep. This drives wife crazy for some reason, and she made a comment.
So i was three for three last night making her angry. Nothing i was trying to do, but just was standing up for myself and living life. I think the first 2 were her way of temp checking me. May have made her happy that she is moving since i didnt give into her on what she wanted to do.
On another note, i have never been the best at creating goals and following through with them. I have always kept myself busy but i am now creating a list of activities of things i am going to start doing for myself and the kids. I knw this is not goals but i am going to creat this list then start sorting how i am going to accomplish and what with them. I will spin this into goals eventually.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I am fighting the urge to speak to her about why i said i was not interested in talking about her buying furniture for the new place. For some reason i feel i came across bad, but at the same time i really do not want to have these types of talks. I know in the past i would start thinking something over then always come back and try to smooth things over with us.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
