Black and white

[JulieH]

That's great stuff zues. And it's true, it really does not indicate anything other then the feelings they are having at the time. I am someone that always lashes out and acts out based on my feelings of the moment in regards to my husband. It is just so consuming to me in the moment. It's my reality at the time. I guess The more I am hurt, the more I had hurt him.

When you are left feeling sad after a conversation, is there also a motivation?

I did not think you were intentionally closing off to hurt her. I realize you are detached and have to be detached in order to protect yourself. And for all practical purposes you were able to let go. Your comments, "it doesn't matter cause that's not what's in front of me" are comments my very logical husband would say. I wish I could think that way. Its very healthy.