Jpeg, just left you a response on Rouky' s thread.
I understand. Every one of us here makes mistakes. You went off-plan. Okay, move on. You need to begin making a plan for your next interaction. You will have one. Define your goal, and figure out the workable steps to get there. What do you want him to do about the car? Define that, and plan from there. Let's see how you do.
It's hard thinking through this pain. That's why we need to plan ahead as much as we can. It'll be okay.
I just can't get past his lies. For years I was asking him for the truth . He consistently denied anything was happening with this women. I just want him to tell me the whole truth. I am so paralyzed by this. Being deceived is hard enough but then to have him say there was nothing going on and this just started once he left. Why does he have to continue to lie?
Jpeg, I think they lie to themselves as much as they lie to us. When H had his A, I caught him because I found all the texts on the phone bill and called the OW. To her credit, she didn't know he was married, and gave me full details and copies of their texts to confront him with. He still denied, denied, denied and tried to convince me she was lying, had made up the texts, and was a spurned female who had wanted to hook up with him but had been turned down. Although he finally admitted to the A and the details he was backed into the corner about, there are still plenty of things I read in his texts that he denies as being the truth. Even years after the fact, and even though he says our M is over. I have come to the conclusion that he can't admit to certain things because he has this image of who he believes himself to be, and his actions don't support that. So I think he tells himself that his A was just a mistake and not who he really is, and as long as he doesn't admit to many of these things, he can still pretend to be that person he thinks he really is. Just my thoughts anyway...
That sounds about right, the part about lying to themselves just as much, my H's OW definitely knows he is married, she persued him actively as our daughter was a student at the school she teaches at.
So who is paying for the car repair? Your mother? Make H pay! And then send him the details of what college is going to cost him soon. Pick an expensive one too, your S deserves the best.
Hi photoka- Well the guy insisted on getting the money today and of course H "has no money" (his words) so he asked his parents to cover half- they brought over a cheque thinking they were covering the half on behalf on S 17 - but no that was to cover H share. So grandma and grandpa covered half and s17 and myself covered the other half and H continues to lie. This is why I have retained a lawyer. We currently have a D in university and the twins will be going to college next year.
