I don't feel comfortable with him. Red Flags keep popping up.
I haven't had Red Flags pop up in the year that I've been working here from anyone else.
So, am I paranoid because of the incident with Mike? Or is there really an issue?
My new boss, G, makes comments.
Like, he had me taking down a list of things for him to do...that he wanted me to type up.
Half way throught he list, he said, "Send *PiB* flowers on May 1st. So, I started to write it down. He laughed and said, "I'm just kidding, I just wanted to see what you would do."
Keep going, writing things down. Near the end of the list, he says, "Make a date with someone."
I just looked at him.
Once, we were at a business lunch with everyone in our Department. One of our collegues was sitting next to G. She made some observation about his personality. He turned to me and asked if I thought what she had said was true. I said, "G, I'm still getting to know you as my boss. I don't know."
He said, "Do you like me?"
I said, "Of course!"
The woman who had been teasing him said, "As if she would tell you she didn't."
And we all laughed.
Weird little things like that.
I don't know if it's innocent on his part. But it's making me very uncomfortable.
I have put up a scrap book page that I created of 3 pictures of my Husband and I on our wedding day. No one can look at those pictures and not realize how much we love each other.
I keep calling my boss "sir" and do my best to maintain a professional wall between us.
Mom and I have brainstormed and we think we've come up with the best plan that will protect me politically.
My boss does work directly with the President of our University. So, despite laws and current protections, if there is a confrontation between a man of his standing and a secretary, the secretary is bound to lose. So, Mom and I have been focused on finding ways to get the message across without a direct confrontation.
I think my new boss, whether his comments are innocent or not, has gotten the message that I'm not interested.
But, it has been a source of stress for me. I wish it was clear to me what his intentions were/are. The not knowing is bringing up the fear that I will be back in the same situation that happened with Mike. Totally unexpected and unpredicted.
I've been telling Husband all about this. He's been supportive and protective of me. (Making up a lot for the way he behaved with the Mike situation.)
So, last night, Husband was telling me about a Sexual Harrasment course he had to take at his current job yesterday.
It was an interesting conversation.
I feel like he understands me better. And we are both frustrated that Sexual Harrasment is still so vauge in definition.
The conclusion we came to is that my boss isn't Sexually Harrasing me. He's just being unprofessional. But that there is certainly potential for his unprofessional comments to become Sexual Harrasement, if he continues to escalate them.
And I told husband that part of what made the whole incident with Mike so shocking was that I thought my being over weight would protect me from situations like that. Husband said in his opinion, it makes me look more vulnerable and thus an easy target. Sigh. I think he's right. Will be something I focus on during my efforts to lose weight.
Goal: To not appear vulnerable. To lose weight and get strong so that I don't look like an easy target.
What you are feeling is your inner gut telling you this guy really is slime. You can callit what you want, but he is way out of line and in some areas, this would fall under sexual harrasment.
You best bet is to be ultra professional. Talk about H and how wonderful he is, keep pictures around, etc. Let him know you are soooooo in love with Monkey.
Keep your distance. This guy is trouble.
Pattie
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
i am with pattie on this one - i believe this guy is walking a thin line on the whole sexual harrassment issue, keep yourself professional on all levels
Part of the reason I'm questioning myself is that I work in the Development Department of my University.
The people I work with go out and solicit money on behalf of the University.
In my department specifically, our people are asking for a minimum of $25,000.
That's a lot of money to be asking for. That's a year's salary for me.
So, I know my people have to be really good at 'wooing' prospective donors.
And my boss, G, before he became Interim Director for our department, worked solely with the President and his prospects. Those are the top 100 prospects. I have no idea how much money we are talking, but I know it's most likely at least a million.
So, he has to be good at dealing with people.
So, I question myself, wondering is he treating me the way he would treat a prospective donor?
Are his comments really innocent?
Being new to this job, is he just unsure how to behave? He's never had subordinate before.
Or is he so full of himself that he thinks any female would swoon at his attention?
I don't know.
But I'm definately going to continue to keep that professional wall between us.
Again, thank you for reading and responding...it really makes me feel better.
