So, I have a new boss at work. I don't know him very well. I met him twice previously before he ever became my interim boss. Each time, I got this weird vibe from him. He looked at me a little too closely. Red Flags going up in my intuition.
Now, I may be being hyper-vigilant. Paranoid. But in the year that I've been working on Campus, he is the only one that I've gotten a Red Flag from.
Not sure if I've told y'all about my experience way back from when Husband dropped the bomb the second time.
The first time, was Christmas day. I tried to committ suicide and ended up in the hospital. The doctor said I was severly depressed and I was in no position to deny it.
Then I was on anti-depressents for 6 months. I told husband, (pre-DB...believe me, I realize how stupid it was) if you are going to leave me, please don't tell me on Christmas day.
He said, "Ok. I wanna leave."
Sigh.
So, I was in the phase of trying to figure out what to do. Mom was trying to convince me to move home.
I was at work one day and I saw this guy, Mike, I used to work with. When I worked with him, I hated him. He was a jerk.
But I was feeling so down and miserable that I reached out to him anyway.
I stuck my head outside the door of my shop and called to him.
We had a friendly conversation, catching up with each other. He was still working in the store that I knew him from. He introduced me to his dog, whom he was walking when I saw him walk by my store.
He asked about my husband and I in my misery told him that we were in the process of separating.
He started asking if I had ever cheated on my husband. (Red Flag should have gone up, but didn't.)
He kept asking personal questions and I in my naiveness answered him.
Things escalated. I felt them getting out of control and didn't know how to handle the situation.
Then he asked me what I would do if he kissed me.
I fumbled over words. (Remember, when I worked with this guy, I had not liked him. He was 30 years older than me and I had never considered him someone I was sexually attracted to.) I didn't want to hurt his feelings. (Hindsight is 20/20...now I know I should have very bluntly told him, "not interested" instead of worrying about sparing his feelings.)
As I was fumbling over words, he stepped up to me, grabbed me and kissed me.
I backed away confused and upset.
He kept reaching for me.
I told him, "I don't want this."
He asked me to take him on a tour of the shop. Stupid me, was relieved at the change of subject. But, no, he was just trying to maneuver me into the back room.
He literally was grabbing at me.
I fled behind my counter and he went to the other side of it.
I said, "You are really freaking me out. I don't want this."
He said, "What would you do if I raped you."
I said, "With everything going on in my life, I don't need that now."
He smiled and said, "You are right, you don't."
Then he left.
I got on the phone. Called my mom. Called my friend. Called my husband.
Husband didn't care. (I found out later, he thought I was being evil and manipulative. I kept sobbing, "I'm sorry." and he took that as an admission of guilt on my part. Rather than realizing I was saying "I'm sorry" because I was feeling so stupid not realizing what a dangerous position I was in.)
Mom and friend told me to lock store, go next door, get out, go to police.
I called up store owner. Told her I what had happened and that I was going to police.
I went and filed a report.
And I called up my old boss that Mike still worked for. Told him what had happened. Told him that I had filed a report with the police. And I asked him to tell Mike to stay away from me.
I was terrified that he was going to come back and rape me like he threatened.
Husband had no sympathy for me and left me alone in my terror in our apartment all alone.
I ended up fleeing town and moving back to live with my parents.
The bottom line was that I felt like the situation had gotten completely out of my control. That it happened out of no where.
And I had thought that because I was over weight, I was safe from unwanted attention from men other than my husband.
So, because of this whole incident, I felt scared and no longer safe in my assessments of people.
