H has started an affair 2

[Sotto]

Hi Anna, I think you are right in your last couple of paragraphs. See, I already know you are a bright cookie!! It is true that when we do something 'for them' rather than 'for us' - we are only half way there. Though it is good progress not to be following him around the house.

I agree that effort being put into distance and detaching will be effort in the right direction. So, what specifically are you going to do to achieve this in coming weeks?

Reading your post does make me remember why GAL for ourselves is so important. Until we do, our H and our sitch remain the centre of our worlds. We orbit around them. But the thing is, remaining attached to them (whilst they are in the place they are) isn't healthy for us.

What is healthy for us is to realise that they have their life and we have ours. They will continue on their path until they want to do otherwise. And we will continue on ours separate to them for now, and until or unless anything significant changes.

I can remember that exhaustion and looking after yourself is important. Eating well, takind some exercise, a nice bath, reading your book, meditating, music.....finding whatever brings you some relief and building it into your life. There will come a time when you look back on your strength and perseverence during this difficult period and you will feel a deep sense of satisfaction for the character you have shown.

Take care my friend xx