Zues, I understand what you are saying. My plan is to do nothing other than be friendly to H until we begin counseling. We ironed out the most pressing issues in the conversation earlier.
His sheer rage at me was a problem. He did a LOT more talking than I recorded. I did boatloads of validating and apologizing. I played a huge role in the breakdown of our marriage. I would never be able to forgive him otherwise...and not just for the A. He's been awful. I told him I felt like I walked him all the way to hell, opened the door for him, and told him to have a good time. I told him the burden in my soul is so large, I am in no position to judge him.
In recapping the highlights, it seems I missed a few key parts.
The only two things I'm not sorry for is the whole issue with me being exposed to possible STD' s, and tattling on him. The main reason I did that was because he blamed everything on me, and ALL the kids were furious with me. I was tired of being told how our family would still be together if I'd just done what Dad asked me to do. The STD testing is probably obvious.
I've got tons to keep me busy this next week, and out of his way. He has pool tournaments is weekend. It's not the right time for me to start going. We're barely even friendly, so I'll wait until I'm invited. I'm fine with that.
At least the rage is diffused. It was making me a nervous wreck.
