6 months in the storm

[Avanti]

Ep0215, it is great to know that you feel so strongly and are keen to make things happen for you.

What you've got to come to terms with is that there isn't an instant fix here and there's going to be a fair amount of hard work. It will however enable you to gain more control over you and your life. Doing so, allows the mind to be clearer and so good decisions and actions can be taken.

Many do struggle with their goal setting and planning, the way that a lot find easier is to begin with the end in mind. Sit down and picture exactly what it is that you want to achieve, colours, sounds, smells, little details are important. Take your time to really consider this and get it firmly in your mind, then break that picture down into 3-4 max goals, that are sensible, measurable and are things you can have an effect on; there's no point in having "I want H to call more often" as you can't control him.

The goals are there to act as the trigger for the mental picture you took the time to create, if they don't do this, your goals need to be amended until they achieve this end. The next step and in many ways the easiest is to create a plan for how you can achieve the goals. This needs dates and specific actions, nothing loose or timid, it's your life design it well and believe in it and how you are going to do it.

The great thing about having the plan is it then becomes your point of reference and stops you from consulting your emotions when things are a bit tricky.

Many get scared by the word goals as they think that if they don't achieve them, they will feel bad, one thing is guaranteed is that if you don't formulate them and write them down you won't achieve much, if anything.

Some post their goals and plans, I personally think that if you've got the right elements then keeping them to yourself makes sense, as they are personal. Ultimately, it's up to you whether you do or don't.

May I also suggest that you also re-read the chapter in the DR book (chapter 3 page 80) about goals to ensure a full understanding of this key area of DB'ing. If you haven't read the book for a while it's probably a good idea to read Chapter 2 page 49, start with a beginners mind, to get rid of some of the unnecessary swarf that you may have unwittingly collected on your way to where you are now.

By undertaking the above basics you are doing what a significant number haven't done at all or half-heartedly and they are the ones with the "why me?" rhetoric, so go ahead and get started.

If you get stuck post something and you are bound to get some help from the awesome people on this forum.

With a bit of luck this will set you off on the right track and I really look forward to your future posts on progress with the goal and plan creation, then ultimately to watch you enacting the plan and seeing the results so any tweaking can be identified, if required.