LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (2)

[gs9]

[quote]
For a while now, I have mentioned to LBH'S the dynamics in the relationship with their WW. Today, I sent a very long post to another LBH, who has in-house separation, about an article on this subject. It seemed to confuse him, so I am hesitant to copy it again. If you want to read it, visit Vise's thread and see posts for today.

Brilliant. I recognize this behavior in our MR dynamics. For the first 6 years of our M I allowed her to be abusive to me. I pleaded, begged and poured my heart out to her. Telling her she was destroying me and ruining our M but her behavior didn't change because my reactions to the behavior didn't change.
Over the last month or so I have created boundaries not accepting abusive behavior. i.e I moved out of the basement, I reclaimed the master bedroom and I have firmly stated that I will not tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully. Then when she does (most of the time) I have been able to calmly walk away or put in my headphones and walk away. What I have noticed is that she is being more gentle when she speaks to me, she is being more considerate and she has even apologized for her outburst twice. It's not 100% and she's still pushes to see what she can get away with but it has been better. The great part is that I don't even care if it's real for her or not. I'm still receiving the respect I should have been receiving all along.