I need to vent for a moment. I spent way too long on back and forth emails with stbx today-- negotiating a schedule change (that works out for both of us, which is a big positive), and some other co-parenting /childcare/budget stuff. Like maybell, I find it tiring and draining to have to deal with him at all. And all the while, I'm practicing my zen Db, stfu moves.. I draft a reply, then revise, then pause, then delete the whole thing and start again in the hopes that I continue to be someone only a fool would leave. It's exhausting. Because all the while I'm fighting the urge to rage at him because my daughter was crying "don't go!" this morning and I had to tell her I'll see her tomorrow afternoon even though that is not my choice.
Or when he continues to blame me for how long this process is taking, even though he still can barely bring himself to say the word divorce, still has important mail delivered to my home (and hands some to me and says, "you can recycle these.", and still has a whole bunch of crap in the apartment and basement storage.
Ugh. Ok. Vent over.
I am going to an event in my neighborhood for separated and divorced parents. I am a total introvert, so terrified at walking in not knowing anyone, but proud that I'm pushing myself to do so.
