I remember I had a few vets that kept it real with me and it was so hard to follow their advice. My mind resisted their advice at the cellular level. They weren't blinded by the pain I was feeling.
The LBS is also in a fog, E. The pain you are experiencing really changes the way you view things.
Something interesting often happens when a WAS wants to reconcile with the LBS. The LBS suddenly feels VERY angry and looks at the WAS differently, almost like they have lost respect for them and they aren't as attractive anymore. It's because the fog lifts and we realize our WAS isn't perfect like we had thought the whole time they were gone.
Now we are now seeing clearly, and we start to think "why in the hell did I put up with that BS?!?!" "I allowed my WAS to walk all over me and I asked for another serving again, and again, and again!"
This is exactly what happened when my wife left me 15 years ago. I would have literally done ANYTHING to get her back. Short of murder, I would have done anything!
I hurt so bad, for so long. Guess what happened.. she wanted me back.
A weird shift occurred, almost immediately. After everything she put me through, played with my emotions, toyed with my heart and dangled reconciliation in front of me like a carrot to a donkey. I felt ANGRY. I mean searing anger.
Why was this happening? This is what I was hoping for, for so long! I tried to overlook all these feelings and tried again with her.
It was too late. I could see clearly now. She wasn't worth it anymore. She was abusive, manipulative, and all she wanted was to use me again.
SHE had become the LBS! And SHE did the begging, crying, threatening to kill herself, and stalking! I couldn't have been more turned off by her.
My point is this, YOU are in the fog. Maybe even more so than your W.
You will see clearly again my friend. Once the fog lifts..
