That being said, what reason would WAW have to come back to you if she can be single and have you at the same time?
That's what we call cake eating around here. If you are ok with never having her respect, allowing her to do what she pleases when she pleases, and you get to occasionally see her and spend time with her, and then feel crappy afterward and long for her until the next time she has time to fit you in her calendar, that's really your call.
Not trying to be a jerk, E. But we're going to keep it real with you.
Dude, I know how bad this stuff hurts. It's excruciating. I remember telling my friends I would rather have someone break both my legs with a crow bar than to go through this pain.
There's no way around the pain, my friend. You have to go through it to get to the other side.
Do you have a therapist of counselor you can talk with? Have you been to the doctor to see if anti-depressants make sense?
Make it through today. And then start over and make it through tomorrow. There were days I didn't know if I would last until the end of the day. In those instances, I made goals to make it through the hour, and then another hour.
