Time to let go.....how(3)

[Dawgs]

I struggled with this as well. I then thought about the kids need both parents. I will not jeopardize the relationship with their mother. They will eventually know the truth. I won't deny that I would like it to work out if they ask.

It is very hard to not lie but also protect certain things.

I agree. The kids do need both parents, true, and I would never put their mother down, either. But at the same time, going along with it as a "mutual thing" is akin to lying, which is something I can't do to my kids. Imagine what they would think when they find out the truth?

I have a friend whose W wanted a D and they worked on it for almost a year, until she said she was done and wanted to file. So, just before they sat down to tell the kids (ages 8,6, and 3), he told her this: "Tell the kids you don't love us enough to try and that you think its best to break up our family." Now I am not sure if that was the right avenue to take, but she looked at them and couldn't do it. That was years ago and they are happily married now.