I mean if I keep waiting next thing I know we will be divorced.
Here is my take on this.
First of all most of our marriages were over the moment we had bomb drop. It takes us a while to understand this.
Yes we want to contact and try desperately to control the outcome when in reality it was out of our control a long time ago.
STOP WAITING and start moving forward. STANDING is NOT still.
This has more to do with looking in the mirror and making changes to ourselves and becoming the person that only a fool would leave.
It is NOT about contacting our spouse and trying to guilt them back into the marriage.
I truly believe that the LBS will have the final say in the outcome of the relationship. If this has not happened yet for you then it is not yet THE END!
Cadet I guess what you are saying is ultimately it is up to me. That as I continue to get my own life that maybe I see that I may not want her back in the end.
I mean if I keep waiting next thing I know we will be divorced.
Here is my take on this.
I truly believe that the LBS will have the final say in the outcome of the relationship. If this has not happened yet for you then it is not yet THE END!
I've grappled with this thought for my entire DB experience Cadet. Some days I believe it and understand it. Some days I don't. You've even expounded upon it for me. It's like the sound of one hand clapping...the answer is in there somewhere it's just hard to grasp.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
I wonder if while GAL it just becomes easier to move on. After all, she has moved all her stuff out and been out on her own for 3 months. I have gone out on a couple of dates and I'm guessing so has she. It just doesn't seem this is the way we to get back together. I mean, I am doing my own thing, I am pretty much dark with her. We don't have any kids together and the only time we might see each other is during the upcoming divorce proceedings. I feel like I want to write her a letter and say that mistakes I made during our marriage were my fault I and continue to make myself a better person. And maybe I will be better from this. During the last month or so we were living in the same house she would say that she hoped I learned from my mistakes and would take that into future relationships. I did learn, and I would like to be able to take it into the relationship of my marriage with my wife.
Hi Bobby B. I don't think a letter like that ever helps. I think it is early days and there is more learning and growth to come. Patience and gentle perseverence (in improving yourself and your own life) are what is needed.
You also need to allow time for things to 'play out' on your W's side of the street.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I have accepted that I can have a happy life without my wife. I know it would be better together, but it can be great without her too. I guess the GAL has done it's job, yet I still holdout hope. Is that silly of me that somehow she will have a change of heart.
So I saw my wife today for the first time in a month. I gave her the title of a car of mine that she has been driving. It was out of being nice, and maybe opening her up to a little forgiveness towards me. She asked how things were things seemed ok at first. But then she told me that I make her anxious and that she doesn't like being around me. Made it seemed like I beat her or was abusive to her. I just don't understand it. She says she is not angry anymore but that she gets anxious around me. Any thoughts from my peeps on here? I love her and would do anything. But she doesn't seem receptive to anything.
