She Wants Me to Leave....3rd Time in 4 Years

[isittoolate]

My biggest problem is trying to sleep well and suppressing the anxiety. Also my appetite is way down. I have to force myself to eat.

I can feel adrenaline and cortisol surging through my body.
Ive lost 7 pounds and am starting to look underweight.. I am 150 pounds (10st10lbs) which is lower than when we got married.

Im taking Nyttol at night but I wake up around 3-4am and the rest of the night is broken. Im up at 6.

This time around things feel worse even though our R is better than it was 4 years ago. I have changed a lot for the better over those 4 years (though not enough I guess).

Its harder to DB this time round as I have already done most of what I can do. I have to concentrate on my R with the boys (it always suffers when the marriage is going downhill). I must appear more confident and show and feel total self respect. I must convey to W a confident MAN who she respects and wants back or is willing to at least go to MC.

Time is a healer, patience is needed but I also need to prepare for the worst. I'm dreading the next R as I think she will not agree to MC until after we have separated.

This is as far as it got 4 years ago. We agreed to separate, I was looking for a place but then she backed down on the brink.

This time she thinks that everything has been done by her to save the M. She has tried and tried and there is no going back. I think we have tried everything except MC.

MC is probably my last hope