PIB, I really like Betsey's comment about this being a healing wound in the itchy stage. So go get that bandaid.
Just another comment on the ring thing. It seems that to some of us that darn ring is so important as a symbol of M and commitment. To others, the symbol isn't important. Not that that person isn't committed to M, just that the ring isn't preceived in the same way.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
You are my Sunshine, my only sunshine! You make me happy when skies are gray!
Water!
Thank you for visiting!! I know that peicing from a distance is soo hard..but I see many positives in your situation!
Myrrh!
Thank you for visiting again! What a thrill!
Pattie!
Yes, that bandaid analogy is a great one...my delima is this: Do I keep reading self help books that I think will help, even though they keep my wounds open? Or do I cover the wound for a bit and let the scab turn into a scar before addressing these self-help books?
And you are right about the ring. Just because I see it as important, doesn't mean he has too. I think it's just another version of the love language...he's telling me how much he loves me in so many ways...why should I allow myself to be fixated on hearing that he loves me in this one way?
Thank you thousandfold for your advice on my thread. I am listening and appreciate every word and thought you put into expressing yourself there.
And yes, I'm exactly where you were the third time! I am having difficulty expressing myself today, which is rare for me but not impossible! However, I think there comes a point when you have to decide whether or not it's time to jump in the pool. I'm there. I'm going to swim by myself if he doesn't decide to join me there.
And I think he will... he's discovering that life on the fence isn't what he thought it would be either.
Now, onto you...
I also think there must come a time when you close your textbooks and enjoy summer vacation. PIB, you put a LOT of effort into repairing yourself and your M... and everything that is part of that process. Hey, did anyone tell you that you passed with flying colors?
You have graduated to the next grade level. That means you don't have to get a jump start on next year's courses. If you don't take time out just to BE, you're going to be burned out when school starts again.
So I'm here to show you the school year calendar! School's out darling! Pack everything in a box for a bit and go out and really enjoy being with Monkey... you have so much fun awaiting you, and you won't notice all the wonderful and exciting things that are happening around you if your head is constantly in the textbook.
I will be happy to take my own advice when school is closed for the summer. Just come shove the calendar in front of me so I notice!
Big hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Pack everything in a box for a bit and go out and really enjoy being with Monkey... you have so much fun awaiting you, and you won't notice all the wonderful and exciting things that are happening around you if your head is constantly in the textbook.
Giggle.
Did you know my whole life I've always been the geek hiding behind a book?
Ok, Bets, you are right.
I'll put away the self-help books for a bit. Stop looking for the 'next issue' and go relax for a bit.
If summer vacation includes vacation from here I would like you to have my email address so if you ever want to chat or tell me how your labyrinth is coming along. PSLukeataoldotcom
Love you and all the help you have been and so VERY VERY HAPPY FOR YOU AND MONKEY!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I've never posted to you before, but the ring discussion caught my attention.
This may not be the explanation in your sitch, and I am not suggesting it is, but just another possibility...
When my H took his ring off, he told me he "couldn't" wear it because he didn't deserve to wear it given his behavior.
It's possible there are reasons that have more to do with the feelings your H is processing within himself than with you or the R you are piecing together. Give it some time and enjoy each other.
However, I think there comes a point when you have to decide whether or not it's time to jump in the pool. I'm there. I'm going to swim by myself if he doesn't decide to join me there.