Zero steps forward

[Pax_luv]

Hello there. You don't know me, but I know many of you and your sitch's. I've laughed with you, cried with you, and held out hope with you. I wanted to start off my first thread with a heartfelt thank you for sharing your journey's with me and the rest of the DBers. I've been lurking this site for 2 months and have been DBing while physically separated for 4 months. Tonight, my husband told me he's ready to start seeing other people and I'm just crushed. I've never worked harder on anything to try to make this work.... never... and yet...we're moving further away instead of closer. I'm just devastated (and yeah- I know the point of the journey is to work on myself..which I have been doing, but I prayed and prayed that it would spill over to my husband and he could see potential in our M)

Here's my deal- married 5 years, together 10. I'm in my early 30's and H is in his mid 40's (yup big difference). No kids, no legal filings done, yet. Last year was incredibly tough and our marriage suffered. I started a new career, so did he... we just grew distant and when things eroded to the point where we couldnt even have a conversation with eachother things got a little hasty- H threw ultimatums and I completely withdrew. In Jan of this year, we went to a therapist and that made things worse (duh!). In March, I told him I loved him and missed him and really wanted to work on our M., to which he replied- ILYBINILWY. That's when things really got bad. I did EVERYTHING wrong- cried, begged, pleaded, etc. In June- I moved out to give him the space that he needed to figure things out. I didn't want to, but felt like I needed to respect his wishes because I would do ANYTHING to try and make it work. The night before I moved out, I received my copy of DR and have been following it to a T ever since.

During the last 4 months, we've had no contact except for when we transfer the dog and each time has been cordial. Tonight he called me to tell me he's ready to date other people so he can move on.

Welp, that's it in a nutshell....What do I do now? Let him date? Tell him I can't be in an open marriage? I just feel so defeated.