My MLC wife recently started an A, it didn't last long as the OM was a strong believer and was confronted by other close strong believers who convinced him otherwise. Basically he had a change of heart, however he may not stick to that. The W filed for Divorce a couple weeks ago and I returned the first volley of paper work. We are trying to have a good divorce so that we do not destroy our equity and children's lives. I of course know this is all a MLC from a troubled upbringing and hope to save the marriage and long term happiness of everyone involved. She has always known that I want to save the marriage and the OM now wants us to save the marriage too. And he is actually pushing her too hard to do it and driving her away. How do I maintain respect, but not sever the relationship. No matter what at this point we are stuck in the same house. She believes that the only reason she is around is to aid in taking me through the next few months till I get a major job upgrade. She does at times admit there is a possibility of getting back together. Deep down inside I want her to stay and I want to forgive, but at the same time I kinda don't want her to have the medal of honor attached with helping me get the good job upgrade if she just leaves in the end, I would rather have the pride of doing it myself. But so far I have taken the risk of allowing her to stay in my home.
So the W is back home, sleeping in my bed with me.
Should I kick her out of the bed? Should I remove my wedding ring which I have retained all this time? I sleep and have slept naked should I stop doing that? If I do and she starts coming back to me how do you know when its OK to accept affection or when you are just being trapped?
We share almost everything even her facebook account. Should I begin creating or separating these things. Right now its not even possible to separate finances really.
The MLC started about 2 years ago and reached a peak when I went on a business trip and she committed adultery, in the 2 months since then I have learned much, screwed up much, and made the affair worse than it original was, mostly emotional turned to physical.
Another issue is jobs, I don't plan to discuss it with her but should I try to take a local job so I can stay close or should I be more focused on moving away. I know part of what drove her into the MLC was the stress of this last home stretch and the thought of moving away from her comfortable home and life.
