Ancaire, I threw up almost every day for a month after BD, I understand. It is a shock, on every level. You are not weak. You have been so strong, such a rock, such a good strong friend to everyone here. I think your feelings need to be expressed, your reactions are completely normal, let them out and don't be afraid of your pain. You don't need to be strong 24/7, you can and should break down sometimes, you need to. Let it out. Cry, stay in bed today. If you keep it all in it will come out in unexpected ways, in sickness, in rage, in who knows what. Its ok to have a bad day. Its part of the process. You are going to be ok.
