PIB- You're a flybaby! And you are going through this hard and scary time of intensive piecing, too! Okay, lemme just add your thread to my favorites...because I think you're doing great! Hugs! Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Quote: Then I said, "Frankly I've been looking at it as a barometer of our relationship. If you wear it you are happy...if you don't, you aren't."
Don't have a lot of time today, but one of my biggest pre-DBing foibles which continues to haunt me to this day is my use of those same exact words!! ... and on top of that I used my ring where it 24/7 to make my statement ... and boy did it turn into an ugly scene when I woke up one morning to notice the ring wasn't on my finger and I literally tore the bedroom apart looking for it!
I learned the hard way NEVER refer to wearing of the rings as a barometer!!!!! ... after all, what is a barometer used for? ... to measure PRESSURE ... and that is exactly what our S's feel when we approach it that way! Boy I just can't emphasize this enough.
Even now, its a thorn in my side. Since the beginning of the year, she has not worn her rings, even on special occasions ... and yes, I can't help but to thinkof it as a barometer ... and even tho I tried to mention it as nonchalantly as possible a couple of weeks later, she still replied with a tone of apprehension when she said its because her fingers are swollen. (which by the way have now been swollen for nearly three whole months!!!) ... anyway I been letting it lie since, know I pretty much back myself in a corner on this one. For the last two weekends, I have done a 180. On Friday nite before bed, I took off my ring to use hand lotion and have left it off all day Saturday. My intent is to make it seem like wearing the ring is not such as big deal as I made it out to be. I do know she has noticed it both times altho she has made mention of it yet.
... but PnB, where you are at, there may be times where you may inadvertantly pick at a scab over the old hurt which bring about a brief period of pain. So long as you don't continue to pick at it, it will scab over again ... and don't do like I did and pull at the STICHES!
I think last nite also shows you that so long as continue with the positives the healing process to keep on without too much scarring..
Oh gotta go ... someone just set off the sprinkler system ...
Am sorry to see that this is still an issue for you...
And thank you for validating that my feelings on the issue are normal and understandable...that means so much to me!
A part of me had been wondering if I was making too big a deal out of it. But having you and Sage both confirm that you'd look at it in a similar fashion...somehow makes me feel better.
Hey, I'm normal, not crazy...and it's just something else to focus my DBing efforts on...rather than taking it personally.
And after all, I know I'd much rather him wear his ring because he WANTS to, not because he feels like he's disapointing me in some way.
Kaw, you said:
... but PnB, where you are at, there may be times where you may inadvertantly pick at a scab over the old hurt which bring about a brief period of pain. So long as you don't continue to pick at it, it will scab over again ... and don't do like I did and pull at the STICHES!
Picking at the scab..that's exactly what I was doing.
Thank you for pointing that out KAW!
The darn thing has been itching lately...but I've been told that just means it's healing...
You are special! BTW - to add my two cents on the ring thing - my husband has never worn one, except intermittently while we were separated. He simply dislikes rings - I have never seen him wear one. So I had to STOP thinking of it as any sort of indication...this is just him!
The ring thing is just not as big a deal to my husband as it is to me.
Just wanted to add yet another point of view... Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Here's my .02 on the ring thing... my H wore one. Until he had a construction accident and he had to cut it off and pry it apart in the ER. Why, cause the doctor was too weak!! 38 stitches later, we left with a very deformed ring. I replaced it, bu he only wore that occasionally.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
In CHL's case I am ASSuming based on something he told me that the fact that he took his ring off early last year meant a great deal. Even though at the time he had lost a lot of weight and the ring did not fit well, when he gained some of the weight back he never put the ring back on.
When I started getting to know him and going for computer lessons I did not wear my wedding rings as I had gained too much weight to wear them and my H had lost his long ago so as far as I know it wasn't a big deal to either one of us.
But CHL told me that was one of the first things that he noticed was that I wasn't wearing my wedding rings.
So I think it probably means something different to each of us.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Thank you for sharing your different perspectives on wedding rings.
That really helps a lot.
Thank you ladies!
So...Husband had his job interview yesterday.
He said he felt it went well.
Looking at some of the things the interviewer said/comments he made, it looks like my husband is a very strong candidate!
I'm not sure if I can fairly apply DB philosophy to job interviews...
But the interviewer positively lit up when Husband said he golfs for fun. The interviewer said EVERYONE that works in that department golfs. That there is a golf course on campus..and sometimes they all leave early and go golf together!
The interviewer also made comments like, "This will be where you are working." Not sure if that is a standard thing or if it's a good baby step...but I'll ASSume the best!
The interviewer also said, "With your degree, you'll learn the program we use very quickly."
I think that's also a positive!
Husband said that the interviewer had other interviews for that day and that he'd decide by the end of the week whom to call in for a 2nd interview.
So, keep your fingers crossed folks!
If all goes well, my husband will be working less hours, car-pooling with me, and be away from the craziness that is retail!
... and on top of that I used my ring where it 24/7 to make my statement ... and boy did it turn into an ugly scene when I woke up one morning to notice the ring wasn't on my finger and I literally tore the bedroom apart looking for it! 
... and even tho I tried to mention it as nonchalantly as possible a couple of weeks later, she still replied with a tone of apprehension when she said its because her fingers are swollen. (which by the way have now been swollen for nearly three whole months!!!) ... anyway I been letting it lie since, know I pretty much back myself in a corner on this one. For the last two weekends, I have done a 180. On Friday nite before bed, I took off my ring to use hand lotion and have left it off all day Saturday. My intent is to make it seem like wearing the ring is not such as big deal as I made it out to be. I do know she has noticed it both times altho she has made mention of it yet.
