Detachment is not something that one "just does" .... It's gradual and slow, just as are all things that truly take root... For instance the changes one makes in themselves, when you set a goal to lose 20lbs you work at it and measure the progress.... You do not just chop off your legs ... Detachment is similar
Seems to be some confusion about detachment ... I think there is a post about it somewhere. For me... Dead serious ... I struggled with it, 2 years later I'm not so sure I ever really did detach but I did arrive to a place of indifference, what my W did or didn't do no longer played with my emotions... Sure some things pissed me off but so did things a coworker did and I accepted them the same
The trick to this is to become a better version of yourself ... Not to win W back, but because you refuse to be defined by something out of your control. The BD can shake one to his core, we lose our sense of self, our esteem is shot, I argue it's a thicker fog for us than for them.... Difference is we navigate out of it much faster because there are no outside influences keeping us in the fog
So ... Make some goals, think about what kind of person you want to become ... I transformed myself into Cali 2.0 and he is a MUCH better version than I ever would have imagined 2 1/2 years ago... That's the only thing we can control, our own growth from all this .... The rest is wasted energy
