So far everyone who has posted has been telling you what? You aren't detached ... Ever stop to think about why? Typically the LBH fears if he detaches he will lose his W .... Guess what, you can not lose a bird who has long since flown out of the cage... She is already gone. And like a bird you might see her on a tree limb, power line... What happens if you try to catch her? Yup... She flies away... Your approach should be more about doing your thing, if the bird arrives... Great but you know you can never cage that bird ... Make your surrounding more attractive ... Make yourself better... Let that bird be a bird ... It's never going to be a cat or a dog
Fear
fear is at the root of control, you are walking on eggshells trying to nice your W back into the M, not going to happen... A woman can not love a man whine she does not respect. She is controlling g the situation by manipulation and you are not helping matters staying attached to those puppet strings ... I use Clint Eastwood as a visual in most situations ... What would he do with a sink ful of dishes... Ponder do I wash them/not wash them? Do you really think a plate or 3 is going to save your marriage?? She just days ago accused you of a physical attack , then you awaken to her apologizing ..... Yeah that's 5 gallons of crazy you need to let her go and figure herself out
As far as the affair.. Citing the date ... You need to continuously tell her you are sorry for your actions, you can not change the past, if you could there are a lot of things you would do differently ... Then end it.
As far as God... Yeah sometimes you have to give your M to him, pray that you do not understand this all but above all that as a Believer you trust in Him and His plan.... his plan not yours ... That's where we all struggle is it not... When our plan no longer is clear to us... he knows best. I can attest that I would have NEVER learned the lessons I needed without going through what I went through, what I continue to go through... And I still know he is in full control of all this ... That epiphany saved not only my M... More importantly ME
