D, you know I, of all people, appreciate the reality of cycling through emotions and having a really bad day. You did the right thing, posting here. I try to remind myself, it will pass, and it does. I'm never okay with the situation, but I do accept that it is what it is. I'm learning to despise the word "patience", which most likely means God is getting ready to teach me a lesson on the topic I won't ever forget.
Prayer helps. Posting here helps. Just sitting still and focusing on deep breathing is surprisingly helpful. You've made wonderful progress. You know precisely what you want. You are committed and faithful. You're a fantastic dad. You've done well with GAL. You are becoming wiser by the day. You reach out and help others with no expectations of getting thing in return. You're commited to DB'ing to the best of your ability.
D! You really are a man only a fool would leave!!! Look at what you've accomplished in such a short time. Imagine how great you're going to continue to be. You are becoming the person you need to be in order to be a strong leader for your family. I know you to be a a man of faith. You're becoming the strong and wise head of the family that you're instructed to be. Amazing.
There is so much good I see in your situation. I understand the painful things, too. But I see plenty of reasons to not give up hope - just work on not focusing on that part. Keep doing what you're doing..."becoming"...your children are so very lucky to be gaining a role model like you. WW? She'll notice - but she does have free will. That's a good thing. She can choose to lose the best thing she ever had, or she can choose to wake up and fight to keep it. Painful for us who care, but necessary for a great M. She needs to want to be there, or she'll do this again one day.
So, D...patience and time are necessary for you, too. Keep working on you. Love your children through this. Give WW over to God to work on. He is shaping/molding you into a man few are ever lucky enough to become. I'm thankful for that on your behalf. Remember bad days are normal; just feel the pain, work through it, and keep moving forward.
Big sister Judy says, "Wow! Look at you, D! I am so happy with and proud of you."
